Madnessville: Facebook Games

Ah, Facebook. I try to break free of your addictive grip, but who am I kidding? I enjoy connecting with too many friends in far away places, talking with family I wouldn’t know well otherwise, and feeling the thrill of seeing the tiny number “1” in my notifications.

Recently, I’ve gotten sucked into the fatal, spinning vortex of Castleville. I guess I didn’t learn any lessons from having crawled out of Farmville‘s black hole, because I dutifully dispel Gloom Wolves and wait with bated breath for more energy.

But I had to laugh when I saw the new stickers on chip bags, giving away free items for the “ville” games. And what’s with the relentless adds online, pushing me to pull out my wallet just to purchase a fruity St. Patrick’s Day Dapper Horse, or Celtic Tights with nifty sword attached? Not cool, Zynga. I realize that’s how you make your money, but still, not cool.

There’s also the complaints I might begin receiving from friends to consider. I mean, this is a real issue for anyone looking to take up the Facebook game banner. If your experience is anything like mine, it begins with an occasional post asking for nails or horseshoes…pretty soon, you’re begging for Easter eggs for your bunnies, and shards of rare crystal for your princess’ tower. It drives me crazy when I can’t complete my bakery quests, just because two people haven’t sent me fancy virtual chocolate. This frustration is redundant, I know; it’s kind of like begging an imaginary friend to arm wrestle with you, then pouting over his refusal.

Also, the whole Martha Stewart thing is weird.

So here is my proposal–make a game, in which your avatar is just an average Facebook user, and bombard her with adds from “Hot Christian Singles” (what Christian guy would be showing off his Schwarzenegger abs, anyway?) and notifications of inane “Pokes”. Have her refuse FB creepers from her friend requests and message friends in Ohio. Then you could make a virtual FB profile, and add friends onto your game account.

Zynga Heads to the Grocery Aisle

Found at

It’d be hilarious. It’d be the next Cow Clicker.

But rant aside, and as ridiculous as any game is that requires you to lean on other people’s facebook generosity, Zynga definitely has me held in an iron grip.

Play on, Facebook gamers. Play on. And send me a rolling pin for Raphael!!